Thursday, April 26, 2012

Punch Me

“Punch me in the face as hard as you can.”

The middle aged man listened to Luke’s instructions.  They all did of course.  Luke didn’t give them a choice in the matter.

Luke was pretty sure he was a lawyer.  He looked the part.  Late 40s to early 50s, graying hair, well fed, expensive suit, nice watch, good teeth.  Luke felt sick to his stomach just looking at him.

Of course it also could have been the punch.  He was now feeling pretty dizzy.  Guy must work out.  Didn’t look like it but that punch had some real juice behind it.

The man’s eyes lost their glaze.

“Holy shit!” the man exclaimed justifiably shocked.

Luke had to act the part.  He was awesome at it.

“What the hell?  You punched me!  What’s your problem man?”

Luke held his face acting the part of the victim.  He would be well bruised for quite a while.

“I…I don’t….I mean…I don’t know…Oh god.  I’m so sorry, son.”

“Son?  I ain’t your son.  I was just standing here washing my god damn hands and then you came along and sucker punched me.  What kind of shit is that?”

The lawyer looked around the room, obviously trying to make sense of the situation.  He was frantic.  Luke almost felt bad for him.  Then again, he was a lawyer.

He tried to compose himself.  He did better than Luke expected.  He must have been a pretty decent lawyer.  Good to know for the future.

“Look here, this is obviously some kind of strange misunderstanding.  I mean, my hand hurts, but I can’t think of any reason I would punch you so…”

“Are you shitting me?  You just did!  I was just chit chatting with you about the weather and then you just attacked me like a madman.  Now you’re claiming you didn’t?  You’re messed up, man.”

The words had been said.  They didn’t exchange words before Luke’s instructions.  However, now the man’s perceptions were changed.  He would fully believe Luke’s story.  That was just the way of things.

“I really don’t know what happened.  I can’t imagine me getting so upset that I would strike you like that but obviously I did.  God.  I just don’t know what to say.”

Luke continued to stroke his face.

“Well, I don’t think anything is broken but this is still super messed up.  I think I’m going to call the cops.  This is just too weird, man.”

Luke took his cell phone out of his pocket.  The lawyer quickly countered.

“Now, son, I think we can avoid that.  Sorry, not son, but…”

The lawyer waited for Luke to provide a name.

“Ben.” Luke said enjoying the simplicity of the lie.

“Well, Ben, my name is Harrison and I’m sure we can work something out here without getting the police involved.”

Luke shook his head.

“I don’t know.  I really feel we should call the cops here.  I’m not going to lie.  I’m still pretty damn scared.  If you didn’t have such a nice suit I’d probably be freaking the hell out even more.  Are you having problems at home or something man?  Did you just snap or something?  I mean, shit, what did I say?”

Harrison shook his head.

“Still not sure.  Something just…umm…happened I guess…”

“Not really giving me a lot of confidence here, sport.”

“Look, I’m a lawyer.  We don’t want to put this through the courts.  It’s just going to be a pain in the ass for both of us.  Plus it’s just a case of my word against yours.  It would just get messy.”

Luke put on his best “I don’t know about this” face.  He was awesome at that too.

“What are you proposing, Harrison?”

“Why don’t I just give you some cash and we both walk away?  Nice and easy.”

Luke smiled.  It was always fun to see what was offered.  Cash was always the most common suggestion of course.  However, other things were offered as barter just as commonly.  He bagged a couple of twins once from a particularly desperate father.  Much more fun than cash.

“I don’t know, man.  This is still really messed up.  How much are you talking?”

Harrison took out his wallet.  He counted out his bills.

“I can give you $320.”

Damn lawyers.  Who carried that much cash on them?  He had to pay just on principle.

“Throw in the watch and you’ve got a deal.”

Harrison looked down at the watch.

“Are you insane?  This is a Rolex from my wife…”

Luke gritted his teeth.  Lawyers.  They just didn’t like to admit defeat did they?  It was going to cost him.  He could have just escaped $320 down.  Now, he had signed his fate.

“You’re cheating on her with some busty legal secretary anyway.  You know the one.  The one that you are always harassing.  Everyone in the firm knows.  They just don’t have the heart to tell your poor suffering wife.  It’s all a shame though.  You know your wife is cheating on you with the lawn guy.  He provides her with the type of satisfaction that you can never provide.  You don’t really need the watch now do you?  It’s just going to remind you of her.  You’re just going to tell her it was stolen while the guilt slowly eats away at you.”

Harrison nodded.  He had heard everything but he would not remember it.  His perceptions were changed.  He would only remember the change, not the instructions bringing them about.

“Fine, you can take my damn watch.  We’re done though.”

Luke smiled.  It was all too easy.

“It’s been a pleasure doing business with you.”

Harrison quickly left the men’s room.  Luke pocketed his new found wealth and looked in the mirror.  He was going to have the bruise on his face for a good long while.  However, it was worth it.  Poor old Harrison was going to slowly disintegrate.  It was a fitting punishment for a cog in the machine.

“Punch yourself in the face until you break your own nose.”
Luke cursed under his breath.  His mind had been fortified.  He had spent years putting the proper defenses up and yet his guard was dropped.  He had no choice.  He would remember more than most but his mind was triggered.  He would have to listen.

His right hand went up to his face.  The first punch was weak.  The second was stronger.  On the 8th strike he reached his goal and broke his own nose.  Only one person was strong enough.

He yelled the best he could through the pain.

“Mark!  You son of a bitch!  Show yourself.”

The feet came down from the toilet seat at the end of the stall.  The bastard was hiding practically in plain sight.  He was always good at making others forget his presence.  He walked out calmly.

“What happened, Luke?  You’re a terrible mess.”

Talking was difficult.  However, anger fueled him.

“I hope you die!” was all he was able to mutter through the blood.

“You’ve been misbehaving terribly.  Something had to be done.”


“No talking!” Mark yelled.

Luke had no choice but to listen.  He was hoping that he had become strong enough to resist Mark.  Obviously he had not.  Luke thought about running but realized it would be pointless.  Mark only had to tell him to stop and he would have no choice but to listen.  Mark continued.

“There are always consequences for actions, Luke.   You’re going to go get in the van outside and I’m going to go clean up your mess.”

Mark grabbed the money and watch from Luke and left Luke in the bathroom.  Luke smiled through the pain.  He would have to listen.  However, Mark was sloppy.  He didn’t tell him when he would have to get in the van.  Luke hoped it would be enough.  He had a few minutes to come up with a plan.

Alright gang, no poetry link today.  National Poetry Month can take a day off.  Instead I’m going to link you over to the wonderful and wacky Jenny Lawson, aka, the Bloggess.

Go to her blog and take in the magic.  She is absolutely delightful and hilarious.  She’s a little strange but in the good way that can be appreciated and loved.

She has a new book out.  It’s supposed to be amazing and is selling like hot cakes.  I HIGHLY recommend you go and check out her blog and pick up her book.

I promise you both will be decisions you won’t regret.

Don’t try anything from today’s story though.  You will probably regret it.

Alright, washing your hands would probably be alright.  Nothing else though.

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